Date: Wed, 22 Nov 1995 09:37:18 -0600 (CST)
From: Diane Ebro <debro@d.umn.edu>
Subject: Computer humor (fwd)
To: medibib-l@uni-muenster.de
Message-Id: <Pine.3.89.9511220918.A24039-0100000@ub.d.umn.edu>
FYI: For your information. Enjoy! Herzliche kollegiale Gruesse sendet,
Ms. DIANE EBRO
*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
* *
* DIANE EBRO MSc., AHIP INTERNET: debro@d.umn.edu *
* Health Sci.Lib.Director VOICE: 01/218 - 726-8587 *
* University of Minnesota F A X: 01/218 - 726-6205 *
* Ten University Drive ---- ARIEL: ariel.d.umn.edu *
* Duluth, MN 55803 -------- *
* U.S.A. [] [] [] *
* [] [] [] 6PM CST: 01/218 - 724-2734 *
* ____________ *
*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
Date of Message: 21-NOV-1995 18:16
From: EAST::"owner-medlib-l@UBVM.CC.BUFFALO.EDU"
To: Multiple recipients of list MEDLIB-L
<MEDLIB-L@UBVM.CC.BUFFALO.EDU>
CC:
Subj: Some computer humor (fwd)
FORWARDED MESSAGE (Forwarded by Jerry Carlson (gmc@gemini.pvh.org):
Since we all need to constantly update our knowlege to be effective, I
thought this would be useful <grin>. Forward at will.
Michael Spindler Infopros Research & Consulting
mspin@halcyon.com Seattle, WA 206-224-7543
Improve Your Computer Vocabulary
----------------------------------------------------------
Analog: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered
with crushed nuts
Backup: Opposite of go forward
Batch Processing:
Making a lot of cookies at once
Binary: Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes
Bit: 12 1/2 cents
Branch: If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer
club)
Buffer: Programmer who works in the nude
Bug: 1. Programmer's term for a feature
2. An elusive creature living in a program which makes
it incorrect. Note: the activity of "debugging" or
removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer
gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed
Character density:
The number of very weird people in the office, divided
by the floor space
Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors
Computer Club:
Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error
messages
Coding: An addictive drug
Compile: A heap of decomposing vegetable matter
Compiler: Noah Webster (1758-1843)
Console: What one does to a "down" computer
Cursor: An expert in 4-letter words
Dump: A system programmer's work area
Feature: Hardware limitation as described by a marketing
representative
Hardware: The parts of a computer which can be kicked
Keyboard: An instrument used for entering errors into a system
Language: A system of organizing and defining error messages
Loop: See loop
Machine-independent Program:
A program which will not run on any machine
Microcomputer:
One millionth of a computer
Null String:
The result of a 4-hour database search
On-line: The idea that a human should always be accessible
Password: The nonsense word taped to your terminal
Performance:
A statement of the speed at which a computer system
works. Or rather, might work under certain
circumstances. Or was rumored to be working about a
month ago
Printer: Johann Gutenberg (1400-1468)
Quality Control:
Ensuring that the quality of a product does not get out
of hand and add to the cost of its manufacture or design
Strategy: A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until
sometime after those creating it have left the organization
User: Someone requiring drug rehabilitation
8-bit machine:
A computer selling for $1.00 (see bit)
16-bit machine:
A computer selling for $2.00 (see bit)
The above mail was distributed to the following LIFENET users:
=SROBERTS | Univ. of Utah